| i've had enough of this. ok, ready, here we go
i know i suck, i know i am doing everything wrong, i know i am a different person than i was 6 months ago. i know that i don't know how to do this thing called life, and that my existence as a person should come to an abrupt hault. i know that i am just a retarded person, who can't do anything right, and is falling away from anything she ever knew. i am un-helpable, un wantable, i am fat and ugly, and i've made choices than alienated me from anyone i ever considered a friend. thats cool to see who really shines through, and when i need it the most too. it's great to know that when i fall, the only people there to help me back up are people who are fallen themselves, so in reality, i am not getting anywhere, i am sitting here, scrambling for breath, i want to see a real face. (no, not a friendly face, i see those all the time, but a REAL face, one with happiness in it, like i used to be) when people fall you don't stop caring..at least i never gave up on you. its now more than ever that i need someone, and who is there? no one...alone, blank..satan's enticing lies entrance my mind, and i am lead....I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO...i am sorry, i am sorry that i am a "jerk" or "dumb" or "too much drama" i am tired of feeling 3 feet tall around my "friends" Maybe thats why i don't want to hang out with you! i feel belittled, and taken for grantite. I have been there, and done so much for so many people, and i am glad that now, when i am down, i am left to die on my own. So here i am, and yes, i am going to die on my own...goodbye.. |
